Why Does Facebook Not Have A Call Center?

I just busted of of the slammer. I got cops and their dogs chasing my all the way down to the woods. There were searchlights everywhere and roadblocks were set-up. I almost got caught but I reached the river on time. I wasted no time and dived in. When I came up for air, i found no one chasing me anymore. It must be my lucky day. I am now free. Ten years in the slammer and I cannot believe I am finally out. I cannot wait to smell fresh coffee and not be scared everytime I drop my soap in the shower. The first thing I did as a free man was to look for the facebook help center contact number. I have been out of the loop for so long and I need facebook help contact the old gang. A free man still has to eat, you know? I need the old gang to pull a job and round me up some dough. There’s Jimmy the Smits, he’s going to be my safecracker for this job. I am also gonna need a fast driver, I will go see if Chubby Chuck Taylor is still alive – he sure drove like a bat out of hell. For the muscle, to do all those heavy lifting, I got the Tuna brothers pegged. And I am going to need somebody to man the guns. Someone to give us covering fire if ever the heat gets involved. I hope Kimmy “The Uzi” Mckay is still alive. The last I heard he was shotgunned while having breakfast at some diner downtown. This job’s going to pull us a big one – almost a million each. It’s enough to tide us over, if we’re really careful.